Ah... the days that I longed for my entire life have arrived. I’m a wife. I’m a mother. I’m a homeowner. I have a college degree and a great job. I’m in grad school. Oh... I have two golden retrievers! I have everything I ever wanted. My life is perfect! Well... maybe not perfect, but darn close. Ok, maybe not close in the true sense of the word. Let’s put my life on a map. As it is today, my life will represent the good ol’ USA. If my life is the United States, then Perfect is NEPTUNE! It really isn't that far. According to MapQuest, it’s just a mere 57 million miles by rocket. AND... that’s avoiding highways. Total time to reach my destination... seven years! That my friends, is darn close. In seven years, my life will be perfect. Of course, as it stands today, I am 57 million miles and one rocket shy of perfection.
For as long a I can remember, I have aspired to be a woman who has it all. A Kelly Ripa of sorts. I wanted the dream job, lots of kids and a super sexy hot, hot, hot husband. Ok... so my husband is only normal sexy (have you SEEN Kelly Ripa’s man), I only have two kids (give them a little chocolate and it sounds like 20) and I’m still climbing the ladder towards my dream job. BUT... by the classic definition of “having it all” (family and a career) I must say, I have achieved my goals.
WHY, WHY, WHY did no one ever tell me what having it all means to us non Kelly Ripas of the world? You know... the modern day, middle-class, still losing the baby weight, SUV driving, keeping up with the Jones’ mother. I like to call this woman the Millennium Mom. She is several generations of woman all rolled up into one. She represents the 1950’s with her desire to be the perfect wife. Like the mavericks of the 1960’s, she is organic and orgasmic. She currently lives in a political world that uncannily mimics the 1970’s... and she sometimes wishes she was high. As a mother, her role models are the sitcom mom’s of the 1980’s. The Angela Bowers, Claire Huxtables, Maggie Seavers and Elyse Keatons. They had it all and perfect hair to boot. The Millennium Mom became a woman in the 90’s and because of that she is powerful, competitive and corporate.
If I am any indication, the Millennium Mom is also overworked, under paid and quite possibly going crazy from having it all. There’s not enough time in the world to successfully maintain it all. Every aspect of my life demands every second of my time. Even this fun little dog-shaped speaker I bought for my iPod needs me to constantly touch it’s nose. If I don’t, it gets sad. Who wants a sad dog speaker? Not me! I give as much as I possibly can to everything, but I’m spread so thin that it is never enough. I could be better at my job if I didn’t have a family and I could be a better wife and mother if I didn’t have a job. Just imagine how happy my iPod dog would be if I had neither! Now that would be the life...just me and my iDog!
Of course, even if I could give it all back, we all know that I wouldn’t. I am a Millennium Mom, after all. I will continue to over extend myself in an attempt to be a success. I will settle for being less than perfect at everything I do, as long as I can do everything. Besides, I’m attached to it all and I’d like to think that the feeling is mutual. Not to mention, to an outsider my life DOES look perfect. For a Millennium Mom, that’s really all that matters!
Maybe whats in order here is a retro definition of "having it all" for the Millennium Mom.
Posted by: MillenniumAunt | March 03, 2008 at 12:58 PM
Funny post! Great blog. I'm adding you to my list of "lovely blogs I love to read" so I can keep reading...
Posted by: Reluctant Housewife | February 28, 2008 at 01:03 PM
Food for thought: I'm not a Millennium Mom (it's the Mom part I'm missing), but your post nonetheless resonates with me...the "perfect wife" syndrome (lady on the streets and a - you know the rest), equal breadwinner and fabulous success at the law firm, perpetual dieting, trying to socialize with friends I've ignored for an entire year, taking care of my aging parents, taking care of my refusing-to-age brother, doing all the household chores, charities, etc...to the point where I look forward to having kids b/c it'll mean I get to lie in a hospital bed at least for one night w/out the blackberry buzzing (maybe). I know - it's "10x harder" once the kids come. But I can't help but wonder - since I'm at a similar level of insanity w/out the kids - do we Modern Day Women impose it on ourselves? Would we find ways to over-extend ourselves regardless of our job, husbands, or procreation status? I query whether being raised to believe we could do "anything," left us with the notion we needed to do "everything" - and anything short of doing it "all" is just a failure. Well here's to scheduling some "me" time in the blackberry calendar, b/c I'm fairly certain if the Millennium Women don't start taking care of themselves, our species ain't gonna be around to see the next 1,000 yr mark.
Posted by: Sara | February 27, 2008 at 10:35 AM